S - Music

The above is my new favorite band. I think it is a lot better than One Direction. You guys should listen to it because it is a lot better than One Direction. I' still crying over the fact that I liked One Direction. That is a memory I will prefer to keep buried beneath my more recent ones. This band is just SO PERF. I never knew that I would like this kind of band. But, I like there music with their lyrics and British accents. I have been listening to them a lot lately. 

If you ever have time,  LISTEN TO ONE OF THESE SONGS. THEY ARE SO PERF.

A- What I see as one of the biggest problems

The US has the 33rd highest suicide rate. Though there are countries with higher suicide rates with their own problems, the US probably has separate problems from those problems.

A few weeks ago I was in physics and Mrs. E asked us why we thought people would kill themselves. Depression? Yes. But depression is a mental illness that theoretically, would appear the same amount in countries but the numbers are drastically different according to location.
When I got my PSAT scores back, I was very satisfied and happy about them. I saw that I had done better than the average person and that was where my happiness came from, as there was no other numbers that meant anything. After a little while, I noticed that this was a weird kind of happiness. It was not the kind you got after a nice day spent with friends, or after reading a book you really liked. It was this selfish, sanctimonious kind of happiness. It was the kind of happiness I get on really rare occasions when I step into a room and I'm the most attractive person in it. My intelligence-genes in a reaaally narrow area were better than other peoples! Yippee!! But this kind of fades really fast, when suddenly the moment of achievement passes and you realize that you are still not the best, that you could still be better. That there are still a number people who did better than you and now that you have come this far you must also be better than them. And you may have gotten a good GPA but it wasn't the best and you could always do better. better. better. better. better. better. better. better. But what if I had gotten my score back, and it said: You have done better than 1% of juniors. Even if it had said: You have done better than 30% of juniors. 49% of the population will have received news that they are technically dumber than the average person.
And when I open a magazine I see that there are incredibly beautiful people out there. And at school there are stunningly gorgeous people that everyone seems to worship. And everyone's saying they want to be a doctor because- it sounds sexy! Doesn't the thought of being a doctor just make you feel like you are so much more of a worthwhile human-being than say, a janitor?
And one time I was with an unnamed person and they said, "You would like to think that all people were born with an equal amount of assets. As in, if someone were really smart they wouldn't be that great looking and if someone were really great looking they wouldn't be that smart." But then they said, "It's not that way. I feel that I have more going for me than most people." And it is assumed that is enough to make a person happy, being on the higher end of the genetic pool. But I know for sure that this person is incredibly unhappy. And I know that Ryan and Nora had a lot going for them too so this must not be it.
All my life, I have noticed that it has been stressed that what I want, what I need,  is to be the best. My mom is always saying, be a CEO, be a manager, be a SEXY doctor, you could be the best. But not everyone can be the best! The whole school system is based on being better than others, and if someone did bad from the beginning they have been told their whole life that they are STUPID. I am not hoping for a socialist/Utopian society where everyone is "equal", I am just saying that there should not be so many measures for how good you are based on really superficial things.
I know that I have small boobs (as I've been repeatedly told by certain people with orange hair over the years) and that I am incredibly lacking in common sense but I'll be the first to say that's okay! I know that I will still be influenced by these artificial ladders of intelligence and looks- and that I am rather expectant about my SAT scores but I hope they will never matter too much to me.
And I think that if America put more focus on people living out what they are good at and to just try their best or (probably something better than those motto's) that people wouldn't feel so bad about themselves.
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S - cool stuff

UPDATE ON LIFE. I haven't posted in a while because finals and final projects and DECA presentations and a ton of stuff has been going on, but it's been like that for everyone, so we're all in this together. Anyway. Today I took my physics final and I'm afraid to look at my score.

I agree with you Esee - I've been thinking a lot about that too. It's going to be really weird and sad. I'm friends with a few of the seniors and I will actually miss them so much. Tomorrow I will be kind of sad at the senior assembly. But a lot of them are staying in-state so we can visit..so I guess that's good. Last year I didn't really care because I didn't know many of the seniors, contrary to you, Esee.

I'm really excited for summer! Only 4 school days left!!

I don't really know what to write about, but here are some really good bands I found:

• The Wombats
• Tame Impala

You guys should listen to them. Tame Impala is my definition of "stoner music". 

We should all hang out this summer! I haven't seen you guys in a long time!

And and Roxy need to post.

And Esee I was going to email you a thing I thought you would be interested in but I forgot your email/wasn't sure if you changed it from the oreo one.

E- Graduating Seniors

Well, today was the last legit day of school for the seniors, and there are a couple of things I have thought a lot about today/lately.

Last year, I was really good friends with two seniors graduating and that was about it (in terms of who I was friends with from the senior class). I was sad when graduation came around but I knew I'd see them again and hang out, so it wasn't too bad.
But this year it's weird. I'm not as good of friends with any of the seniors. I mean I'm friends with a handful, but not particularly close. So its weird to think I probably will never see many of them again. Which almost makes me sadder than last year because its just weird to think that I will never see people I've known since 7th grade again. But then again I'm not even very close to them, but it still makes me sad.

Also, the thing I've thought a TON about the past week, is the fact that next year, it'll be us. We'll be the ones having our last legit day of high school. And that is SO crazy to think about. In a little more than a week, we will be seniors. 12th graders. Our last year of high school. In a little more than a week, every day of high school will be out last september 16 of high school, our last homecoming, and our last season of cross country (at least for Roxy and I). That is just freaking crazy!!
But on a happier note, it means that college is that much closer (which I'm very excited for)!

Anyway, those are just my thoughts for the day- weee.

E- Summer!!!!

Despite the fact that I didn't get into the summer programs that I applied to (sob), I'm looking forward to summer a lot (besides the fact that we won't have school)! And summer is so close I have lost like 85% of my effort to try anymore in school now... which is kinda bad... oops!

But anyway, here are my summer plans!

For a week right after school ends I am going to Washington DC with my grandma and grandpa! We are gonna tour The White House and see Congress in action which should be pretty cool! And I've never been there before so it should be super fun!

Then for three days I'm doing this program at Johnson and Wales University in Providence, Rhode Island called Career Explorations where I'll be exploring careers in baking/pastry arts/culinary arts and get to do some hands on baking and stuff which should be fun! Even though I'm not really looking into a career in that industry, I think it'll just be a fun thing to fly across the country by myself (which I've never done) and stay at a college in Rhode Island (where I've never been) for a couple days. So I'm looking forward to that!

Then I may or may not volunteer for this one random farm for a week with Roxy and Belle. I signed up for it but I'm wait listed so we'll see if I get un-waitlisted or not... I'm kinda doubtful but we shall see.

Then I'm going to apply to this one program called the Western Scholars Invitational. It's a three day program where you stay at Western Washington University and go to a couple mock classes and learn more about applying to colleges and do fun activities and such. It's possible I won't be accepted into it but I called and asked about how competitive it is and they said it's mostly competitive in terms of who they invite but not very competitive in terms of who they accept from those that apply, so I think my chances are decent (hopefully!). But to apply I have to write a one page paper (single spaced!) which kinda sucks but oh well.

Then I'm helping plan and put on the kids camp at my church which is four days in the evening, so that should be pretty fun too!

Then me and my mom are probably going to do this Oregon Private College Week where there is a specific list of ten or so colleges that have a specific program going on that week and you just drive around Oregon for a week and visit the various ones you are interested in. So that should be good!

Also, hopefully at some point in the summer Roxy, And, Belle, and I will go backpacking! But we haven't planned anything for that so I don't know yet.

And then CROSS COUNTRY starts!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!

Oh and I think Roxy, And, and I are going to do the same triathlon that we did last year again (but we haven't signed up for that yet). But it was really fun last year so I'm hoping we do it again! And then maybe this time Roxy can do the whole thing and not be injured!

So that's all that I have planned for summer so far, and I'm pretty excited!
Wow, why do my posts always get super long? Anyway, what are you guys doing this summer?????

S - Things that make me angry/pet peeves

Thanks And for the inspiration for this post! This is also a pet peeves post, but it also includes things that are not as petty as pet peeves.

-Driving while high or drunk - This is an issue that just makes me SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, so MAD. I literally start grinding my teeth whenever I think about this because it makes me JUST. SO MAD. You can drink and smoke all you want, but it is just really rude if your habit hurts other people, or you try to force it onto other people who don't want to do it in the first place. Not sure if you knew about this, but instead of driving drunk or high, you can easily just not drive, wait until you aren't high or drunk, or get someone else to drive, or just stay over at someone else's house and wait for the next day to drive home. It is better than risking tons of people's and INNOCENT PEOPLE'S lives for something you can easily not do! If you get a punishment for your behavior, whether your friends, the law, or your parents give this punishment, you should endure it, for a mindless decision that hurts innocent people, AND YOURSELF, that you could have prevented easily.

-When people who think other people are "stupid" for having different beliefs - yeah okay I respect that you have an opinion but other people have different life experiences and they might value different things from you. They're not dumb just because they think that something else different from you. **This peeve does not apply if it is an unarguably morally wrong opinion like "rape is okay".

-When people act like they're way older and wiser than you when they're only like 6 months older

-When people treat you like nothing in front of other people - Ok, first of all, that's rude. You're nice to me when we're alone, but once there's other people watching, you treat me like I'm not cool enough for you? Screw you, honestly.

-People who try to be friends with everyone you're friends with just because you're friends with them (no proof that this actually happens, but its annoying to think about)

-People who act deep, wise, and/or artsy when they actually aren't (Tumblr.......)

-When people make you wait when you hang out - This isn't that big of a deal if it only happens a few times, or if it's only waiting like 5 minutes. But after a while, always having to wait for you to redo your makeup, change your outfit 50 times, and go to the bathroom for more than 20 minutes at a time just gets old.

-WHEN PEOPLE WALK REALLY SLOW IN FRONT OF YOU IN THE HALLWAYS LIKE OKAY WE HAVE 5 MINUTES PASSING PERIODS WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING DUDE GO TO CLASS HURRY UP 

-Pretentious people

-When people brag a lot /always talk about themselves/always bring the conversation back to themselves

I also agree with And on the cancelling thing (even though I have done it a few times, SORRY!). I don't hate it as much if people cancel like a few days in advance, but it is really inconsiderate if you cancel literally the day of (unless it's an emergency or something like a family issue came up).

WOW ESEE I'M SO GLAD THAT SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME ABOUT THE FAULT IN OUR STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E- So Many Thoughts...

So I just have many comments to make about previous posts.

Stella said that her music taste has gotten a lot better now. Honestly, mine has hardly changed at all. I still enjoy listening to a lot of my old favorite songs, and the music I listen to now is pretty similar. The only think that has changed is that I have slightly broadened my horizons of what music I'll listen to... but only slightly. For example I'll listen to some Of Monsters and Men, Florence and The Machine, Florrie, Mumford and Sons, and such. But that hardly counts as expanding my range of music.

And said, "Esee says that we have matured and stopped saying weird things, but don't forget, "oh bahh"". Good point, I do still say some weird things, but I definitely think we have improved loads. Remember, "yea homedawg", "oh snapdragons", and such? Remember the social studies video we made and And convinced us to yell "Yea homedawg" at the end super loud and it was soooo embarrassing when we presented the video to the class? Well my brother still has that video and apparently he has shown it to his friends on a couple occasions because he's really proud of the high cinematography quality of it- that's really embarrassing...

Also, Roxy is being a poop head and not posting!!! She even told me that she's gone on the blog and read some of the new posts. But for some reason she isn't posting *HINT HINT* and I gave her all the log in information so she has no excuse.

In response to Stella's thoughts on The Fault in our Stars, I agree with you so much!!! Like sure, I don't know what its like to have cancer and what mindset you might be in, but the way Augustus talks is totally unrealistic of a high schooler. But I also have other problems with the book besides that. I found it to just be a sappy love story about high schoolers that have cancer (I'm sorry if I sound insensitive towards cancer, that's not my intentions).

And, I agree with you so much about tumblr! When I first joined, I followed all the blogs I could possibly find, and then a while later I was like, shoot I follow waaaay too many people. So I spent a long time sorting through the blogs I followed to see if I actually liked them and then unfollowed or continued following accordingly. Also, And, what is your tumblr url? I forgot it... Something about macaroni and Urban Outfitters? Or did you change it?

Guys, I really like the dog of the day. They are always super cute!

Sorry I haven't posted much. I posted this super long post but then I felt bad and took it down. I've been meaning to post more, I just haven't had much to post about. Which is why it's funny how And posted a list of her pet peeves because I was literally thinking today that I should start keeping track of my pet peeves and that it would be something I could post about on this. So maybe once I have a decent list, I'll post mine too.

Stella, I enjoy watching Youtubers sometimes too! I generally prefer the challenge videos and British Youtubers. Watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXb8iOYUGx8 I was almost crying of laughter from it.

Also, I have a comment about one of the things Stella said but this post is getting super long so I'll say it in a different post later. Sorry for how long this is! I've just had many things to say.

A- My pet peeves

-When people cancel/ flaky people- If you made plans, they should be serious and you should stick with them because you gave your word. You just wasted my day, which I could have planned something new to do. 

-When a lot of stock is put into potential- potential wont get you anywhere in life, and they have done nothing to be born with that potential. Stock should be put into achievement or how hard people try. 

-Underwear lines- though this is really unreasonable because its not up to me to dictate what people wear. 

-Slut-shaming- It seems guys do this because there are girls out there getting laid more than them, and girls do this because they think other girls are disgracing the feminine decency or something. But this isn't always true, just what I think I've observed. Slut shaming is also sexist, because it only applies to girls. And also, they aren't hurting anyone but only doing something pleasing for themselves and one (or multiple) other people. 

-The need for people to feel better than others- Craig, enough said. *

-When I'm late- yes, it is possible to be annoyed by yourself 

-When people are self-pitying because they're not in a relationship- Indicates that your happiness is derived from being in a relationship which kind of saddens me but I guess if you are sad without a relationship that isn't your fault. *

-Desperate people- you have just told me you would basically date anyone, and now you are coming on to me? Hmm, well don't I feel special now. *

-Home by Phillip Phillip and let her go by passenger- These songs just make me want to puke. The lyrics are so generic and cheesy and the singer portrays the ideal wants-to-fall-in-love-lovey-dovey-downtoearth-sentimental-guy and bleck. But this is also unreasonable because no ones forcing me to listen to them and some people might like these songs which is cool I guess.....

S - Musings

TOMORROW! I am going to Folklife! I am super duper excited to see And and my other good friend who I haven't seen in a while. Esee, you should post more. Summer is only in a few weeks! Can you believe it? I'm excited for sunny days and no homework. Except it kinda sucks that this Memorial Day Weekend is supposed to be cloudy and rainy.

Junior year is almost over, and we are going to be HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS. Except I feel like I won't be basking in the glory of being at the top of the food chain because:

• My main goal will be to leave high school quickly 
• Trying to handle the homework and all the applications and paperwork
• People will probably think I'm still a sophomore

Sometimes I like watching makeup tutorials on Youtube for fun, even though I'm not actually going to try the make up tutorial on myself. It's just cool seeing the technique of the Youtubers and how perfectly they do everything. But I always get really uncomfortable when they line their waterlines. 

In response to And's post about Tumblr - I AGREE SO MUCH! People on Tumblr seem to wallow in a pool of self-pity. Okay, if you don't like your life, and you're so sad about it, you can't just keep being sad, and blogging quotes like, "She was so lost, she couldn't find herself" on your blog that are actually things that you wish that other people would say about you. YOU need to take initiative and change your life and make it for the better. No one is going to save you - you have to save yourself, because in the end, all you have is yourself. And also on Tumblr, a lot of people try to act more artsy and deep than they really are. 

-Stella

A- tumblr

So when I first joined tumblr, I was only following like 2 people. And so I thought, why don't I just follow every blog in my vicinity? And so, whenever I saw a blog, no matter how lame their posts were and how ugly their blog was, I just followed it anyways. Now my news feed is clogged with crap I don't care about. Especially girls posting their star bucks drinks and their perfect food and stupid quotes. Or there's the people who are like, Omg-I'm-so-alone-someone-find-me-a-boyfriend-and-I'm-so-sad-and-ugly-and-no-one-loves-me! I found some really awesome blogs but only a few, and their stuff never comes up when I'm going through my news feed because its only like 1% of it.
I wish I could just unfollow all the stupid blogs! I've spent the lasts half an hour unfollowing blogs I hate which is like everything but it takes so long and I'm still following 350 horrible blogs. uggh
Lesson to take out of this: when you first get a tumblr, don't fret that you're not following anyone. If you follow bad blogs in the beginning, bad blogs will come up on the SIDE for you to follow and you, being a stupid young tumblrer, will follow those stupid blogs.
Is there like a button to erase all the blogs I'm following?
Anyways I had to rant because everyone is so annoying on tumblr but I could just quit but I'm not going to.